you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
