Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
