I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Enjoy the penises
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
