Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
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