You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Please don't give away my fajitas
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
