you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
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We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So here I am, sexting at work.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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