if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Randomize
