I'm going to jail i love you
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
