Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
