I will die if light touches me.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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