I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
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It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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