i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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