it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
