Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
