Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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