listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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