i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I fill condoms, not promises.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize