THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I would ride that face into the sunset
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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