Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
