when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
