I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
