stop calling my apartment porn island.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
