You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
