You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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