Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
