She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
