Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
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