Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
