I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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