part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
