David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I want to fling myself into the sun
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
