You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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