Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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