Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
