i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
