IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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