Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Randomize
