Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
