yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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