dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I skipped work to stalk him.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
