Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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