I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
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8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
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Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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