don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
sex in a hospital.. check
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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