I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
