will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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