Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...

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(561): i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots... http://tfl.nu/p2m9

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(718): View more from New York

My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.

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(718): My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life. http://tfl.nu/tfvf

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(850): View more from Florida

At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.

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(850): At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me. http://tfl.nu/6dky

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(408): View more from California

You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.

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(408): You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job. http://tfl.nu/u3yp

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(727): View more from Florida

I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class

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(727): I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class http://tfl.nu/b4xz

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(813): View more from Florida

He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL

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(813): He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL http://tfl.nu/4831

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(443): View more from Maryland

repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.

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(443): repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. http://tfl.nu/ux00

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.

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(508): Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you. http://tfl.nu/gxjs

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(973): View more from New Jersey

there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.

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(973): there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it. http://tfl.nu/9xxm

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom

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(913): I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom http://tfl.nu/jxft

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"

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(814): All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories" http://tfl.nu/dbqw

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(248): View more from Michigan

im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...

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(248): im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend... http://tfl.nu/rj6y

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(845): View more from New York

New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.

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(845): New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work. http://tfl.nu/j014

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(315): View more from New York

There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster

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(315): There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster http://tfl.nu/nm8t

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone

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(608): It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone http://tfl.nu/08pc

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