Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I accidentally burped into my bong.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"

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(517): View more from Michigan

I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(513): View more from Ohio

I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"

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(847): View more from Illinois

Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.

(630): View more from Illinois

As weird as it sounds I would totally be down

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.

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(313): View more from Michigan

How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.

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