How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
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So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
bring money and cleavage
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
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He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet