Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers

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(614): Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers http://tfl.nu/1ki8

Replies (29) Good night (908) Bad night (10350)
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(660): View more from Missouri

We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.

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(660): We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend. http://tfl.nu/9y0s

Replies (31) Good night (6211) Bad night (827)
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(650): View more from California

you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"

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(650): you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks" http://tfl.nu/u0u9

Replies (18) Good night (5889) Bad night (713)
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(515): View more from Iowa

brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people

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(515): brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people http://tfl.nu/wdd8

Replies (43) Good night (997) Bad night (4789)
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(573): View more from Missouri

So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"

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(573): So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX" http://tfl.nu/a1ku

Replies (20) Good night (1694) Bad night (5654)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

there were a lot.

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(918): thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am... (1-918): there were a lot. http://tfl.nu/x7ld

Replies (29) Good night (6644) Bad night (1207)
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(519): View more from Ontario

like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...

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(519): like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar... http://tfl.nu/2jmm

Replies (10) Good night (2552) Bad night (1493)
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(406): View more from Montana

Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls

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(406): Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls http://tfl.nu/v5lo

Replies (7) Good night (1998) Bad night (849)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�

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(662): it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.� http://tfl.nu/s4m2

Replies (8) Good night (1199) Bad night (1018)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.

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(704): CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY. http://tfl.nu/twru

Replies (6) Good night (1096) Bad night (472)
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(347): View more from New York

The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?

(973): View more from New Jersey

That does not seem like timing

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(347): The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is? (973): That does not seem like timing http://tfl.nu/n0dp

Replies (3) Good night (594) Bad night (662)
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(+61): View more from Australia

The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.

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(+61): The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals. http://tfl.nu/0gao

Replies (0) Good night (777) Bad night (319)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.

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(919): Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties. http://tfl.nu/7t6a

Replies (9) Good night (1676) Bad night (439)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives

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(215): I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives http://tfl.nu/psy5

Replies (4) Good night (417) Bad night (601)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.

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(423): So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class. http://tfl.nu/xrt7

Replies (6) Good night (1020) Bad night (402)

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