WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
