Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo. http://tfl.nu/f195
  Replies (1) Good night (995) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo? http://tfl.nu/r7wm
  Replies (27) Good night (3590) Bad night (1639)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important http://tfl.nu/ydfw
  Replies (19) Good night (2656) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault. http://tfl.nu/lznh
  Replies (115) Good night (6624) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (575): shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed http://tfl.nu/vpxa
  Replies (11) Good night (1824) Bad night (2952)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius? http://tfl.nu/ei5s
  Replies (150) Good night (14881) Bad night (3562)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying http://tfl.nu/0ccm
  Replies (8) Good night (3448) Bad night (4215)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad http://tfl.nu/hc4q
  Replies (9) Good night (4080) Bad night (1444)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out. http://tfl.nu/yvz7
  Replies (13) Good night (2832) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat. http://tfl.nu/cjmw
  Replies (2) Good night (1419) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!" http://tfl.nu/8nad
  Replies (4) Good night (1690) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm a sociology major remember

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Well that and comm

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Basically you majored in how to get laid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): I'm a sociology major remember (301): Well that and comm (479): Basically you majored in how to get laid http://tfl.nu/9p1r
  Replies (2) Good night (1420) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?" http://tfl.nu/0929
  Replies (3) Good night (1467) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip. http://tfl.nu/cx8v
  Replies (2) Good night (364) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy. http://tfl.nu/pv6s
  Replies (1) Good night (63) Bad night (17)

Randomize