haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.