just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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