It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
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I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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