Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted

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(703): so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted http://tfl.nu/4p9h

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.

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(717): Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk. http://tfl.nu/z5dl

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(425): View more from Washington

I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.

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(425): I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class. http://tfl.nu/j3lm

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(970): View more from Colorado

Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives

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(970): Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives http://tfl.nu/k0eh

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(908): View more from New Jersey

so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.

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(908): so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie. http://tfl.nu/eug9

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(804): View more from Virginia

IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT

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(804): IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT http://tfl.nu/e7uf

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(708): View more from Illinois

This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.

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(708): This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major. http://tfl.nu/bo8s

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(859): View more from Kentucky

While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.

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(859): While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed. http://tfl.nu/3phj

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.

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(318): Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION. http://tfl.nu/w8c8

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(917): View more from New York City

I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.

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(917): I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking. http://tfl.nu/qvff

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(+61): View more from Australia

we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.

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(+61): we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together. http://tfl.nu/r78i

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(619): View more from California

Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"

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(619): Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?" http://tfl.nu/fe0d

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(316): View more from Kansas

Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.

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(316): Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say. http://tfl.nu/5ny3

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(619): View more from California

I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix

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(619): I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix http://tfl.nu/k82p

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(575): View more from New Mexico

Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place

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(575): Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place http://tfl.nu/vq1o

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