I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
