I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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