how can u be prego again
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
4 words: hood of his car
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I deserve this hangover.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
