Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
