Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
