can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
