We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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