I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
