So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize