I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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