she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
