Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
