Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
