His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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